Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Rest day 4 (know picture is out of synch-come on what to you expect)

Star date 25052310, 300 years in the future, when a deep space time hole creates adnormal deep space conditions

The crew of the star ship enterprise under the stewardship to Captain James T Kirk go about their usual duties.
Down in the transported room, Engineer Scottie has just beamed up a being. Upon seeing what has been beamed up, he summonsed the Captain and Science Office to the Transporter Room.
Kirk, "what is it, do we know"
Scottie, "no idea Captain, scanners says its been extracted from 21st Century Earth".
Kirk, "why does it smell so much"
Spock, "if I may, interject Captain, that's sweat, otherwise known as BO, a complaint that humans used to suffer from before sweat glands were made obsolete in humans , Captain"
Scottie, " well it don't arf smell nice, that what a engineer in an hot engine room should smell like".
Kirk and Spock both look to Scottie with initial disbelief, then accepting his origins from a country that did not show England matches, they understood a certain Scottish quirkiness.
"Captain", said Spock "we need to get Dr McCoy to look at him"
"Yes Spock", opening up comms on the console, Kirk summons 'Bones' the ships doctor to transfer the being to the medical deck.

Later after the medical assessment, Kirk and Spock go to the med deck in those get evevators they have on the Enterprise, where they find 'Bones' by the being.
Seeing the two enter, he addresses them in his usual 'outstanding' medical manner.
"Well Jim, it human, just. By the look of it, he, a fine specimen of a male, has just encountered a sustained period od physical activity"
"You mean like walking, how primitive, has he no Transporter where he comes from"
Jim, says Bones, "his like us, human, from Earth, around 2010AD. God knows how he got transported"
"Continue with the assessment"
"Well I'd say his covered 710 miles, walking, feet in good condition, non of those water blister thingies they used to have. Legs, showing a slight trauma to the shin areas and other muscle slight aches"
The Vulcan called Spock interrupts "Generally in good shape then, do you feel he could continue say another 190 miles"
"Undoubtedly" replies Bones
" And the rest of him" says Kirk
"Great shape physically, shoulder sore and slight abrasions to the torso, great skins colour must have been exposed to the star thet call the sun, notice the top of his head is particularly glowing"
Just then uhura, the only female on the deck's management team came in to delivery Kirk, a message, but upon seeing this great human specimen lying on the table, she completely loses any decorum, her legs turn to jelly, and is left a wreck for the remainder of her trekking days.
Getting back to the assessment, Kirk instructs Spock, to complete a Vulcan mind probe.
"But Captain, if there is any mental weakness there it might be enough to push him over"
The Vulcan mind probe is administered with apinch to the top of the spine.
"Well Spock"
"He's been on an isolated rollercoaster of emotions, but mental reasonably stable, but hey, this guys smart, high IQ, intelligent, whitty, 'what a guy' " (sorry that's from red dwarf, mixing the sci fi shows), but yeap good to go.
"Right then lets return him to, the co-ordinate, where we picked him up from" Kirk instructs.
Having just picked him up from Fort William, Scotland, home of the GB's highest mountain, Scottie made sure that the insertion back into 21st Century existence, did not mistakenly drop him on top, That would have completely knackered his knees coming down.
His clothes are washed, his hair cut.

And they all lived happily ever after.

These are the views, dredged from the deep psyche of the author. Any resemblance to any person is purely by accident.
No harm or distress is intended............


  1. http://s951.photobucket.com/albums/ad353/Dr_Dong/RussWalk/?action=view&current=RussStarTrek.jpg

  2. 010100100111010101110011011100110010110000001101000010100000110100001010010011000110111101101111011010110010000001100110011011110111001001110111011000010111001001100100001000000111010001101111001000000111011101101000011000010111010000100000011101000110000101101100011001010111001100100000011110010110111101110101001000000111011101101001011011000110110000100000011000100110010100100000011000100110110001101111011001110110011101101001011011100110011100100000011101110110100001100101011011100010000001111001011011110111010100100000011101010111001101100101001000000111010001101000011001010010000001010010011101010111001101110011001000000101000001110010011010010110010001100101001000000111000001101000011011110111010001101111001000000110011001110010011011110110110100100000010001000111001000100000010001000110111101101110011001110111001100100000011100000110100001101111011101000110111100100000011000100111010101100011011010110110010101110100001000000111001101101001011101000110010100101110000011010000101000001101000010100100011101100001011110010110010001101111011011100010000001010000011011110111001101110011011001010000110100001010

  3. Oh Dear Russ the sun has gone and got to you, so you've had a hair cut WHAT ABOUT THE BEARD?
    Now that you're this fine specimen of manhood, you're ready to carry on, which looks a great walk for tomorrow. Ma & Pa

  4. Space: The final frontier
    These are the voyages of the Starship, Ugly Beard
    Its 5 year mission
    To explore strange new worlds
    To seek out new life and new civilizations
    To beardly go where no beard has gone has gone before...

    he he he..

  5. Russ,

    While you're in Greggs buy a cornish pasty, tape it to your head and shout aggressively in Klingon!!!! Or maybe a sausage roll will do!LOL


  6. Very good comment by anonymous 'binary bloke'.


    This is a very funny rambling joke in 'trinary' code!

    Good going Russ!......and keep going Russ!

  7. Russ

    These rips in the time/space contiminium are real buggers and you wanted to save weight by not taking your sonic screwdriver - How stupid was that.

    If they've not beamed you down accurately then the walk is void and Scotty after a couple of single malts couldn't hit a barn door at 6 feet. Please make sure he's beamed all of you down and to the correct planet. If he's sent security down with you its alright because its always them that gets killed.

    You must be able to smell Johm O Groats by now, now you,ve had a bath.

    See you on the 4th


  8. Russ not far to go now considering how far you have come, tremendous effort, keep goin. Dunno what the star trek thing is about?? i must walk 500miles and see what i think about, probably princess Leah when captured by Jabba the Hut!!
    That works for me 8-). Good luck Mate have a pint of heavy when u get to John O Groats!! Del